Sean kensing,

RECOVERY & LIFE Coach

REALITY

empathy

support

WHY COACHING?

“The counselor’s job is not so much to plant the seed as to provide the right conditions for its growth.”

“Mental health is an ongoing process of dedication to reality at all costs.”

At times, our culture and environment seem incapable of providing us with the “right conditions” for natural, self-directed growth and sustained emotional well-being. WIth our seeds planted in the chaotic and often incoherent soil of modern life, we can easily lose sight of how we are living and why.

We may find ourselves attempting to meet our deepest psychological needs in superficial, inadequate, or even destructive ways. Running on auto-pilot just to “get by”, we may end up neglecting our responsibilities to ourselves to to others.

Humanistic coaching can create a space for you to examine what gets in the way of living your most meaningful, responsible, and healthy life - roadblocks such as unhelpful attachment to the past, unmanaged fear of the uncertain future, and a lack of confidence in your ability to identify and meet your own needs. These roadblocks to optimal living are complex and complicated, and aren't necessarily given respectful, compassionate attention in our culture at large. Ideally, humanistic coaching provides the environment in which you can take an honest, sober look at your reality and recapture your sense of power in shaping that reality.

Far from being frivolous, this kind of intentional exploration is invaluable. Can we really expect to maximize our “efficiency” or “productivity” without first attending to the deeper aspects of the human experience?

Doing this work of self-examination in collaboration with a humanistic coach can help you clarify your values, change your behaviors (if desired), and establish a more fulfilling - and more realistic - relationship with yourself and your world.

My explicit goal as a helping professional is to support you in identifying and embracing reality, and living your life in greater accordance with reality (easier said than done, but absolutely possible). In service of this goal, I use an eclectic approach drawing primarily on person-centered helping and Reality Therapy/Choice Theory.

Phone

(347) 636-3382

Email

sean.kensing@gmail.com

LocationS

My coaching practice has been entirely virtual since March 2020.

MY COACHING STYLE

You may have noticed that I use the term “humanistic coaching.” This is because I strive to strike a balance between the practical, goal-oriented focus of coaching and the more subtle, relational orientation of humanistic and existential approaches to professional helping.

While many coaches are highly practical and focus almost exclusively on goal-setting and accountability, I focus at least as much on creating an authentic and supportive connection that can help activate your inherent capacity for personal growth.

In this way I am most strongly influenced by the humanist psychologist Carl Rogers, founder of the “person-centered” approach. This means that my primary focus (particularly in the early stages) will be on active listening and reflection with the goal of achieving an accurate and deep understanding of your emotional experience (don't worry - I will consistently check in with you to see whether I'm getting this right or not). If I do this well, this will create a sense of genuine safety within the coaching relationship.

“Change happens at the speed of trust.” - Stephen Covey

Once this sense of safety and trust is achieved, identifying and accomplishing goals becomes a fluid (and even fun) process, as you discover resources, strengths, and enthusiasm you didn't know you had. It is at this point that we begin to incorporate elements of the Reality Therapy/Choice Theory approach into our work together. I believe that establishing a sense of authentic trust is necessary before commencing the more practical (and sometimes painful) work of identifying, adjusting to, and embracing reality.

In my experience the combination of these two approaches truly works and creates more lasting change than more superficial approaches. You might be surprised how much of a difference it makes to feel truly heard and understood, and you might be amazed at the effects this can have on your behavior patterns and decision-making - and on your ability to face and embrace reality.

If you want to learn more about Carl Rogers and his the person-centered approach, I recommend that you read his book On Becoming a Person. If you’re interested in learning more about Choice Theory and its application to personal growth, I recommend that you read Choice Theory by William Glasser, the founder of the Reality Therapy approach.

In addition to my emphasis on the relational and humanistic elements of coaching, I am also comfortable with more concrete skill-building approaches. However, I believe that these approaches are best utilized within a person-centered framework, so I focus on building the relationship first. When and if you want, and at your own speed, we can transition into more concrete skills-building work.

Finally, I believe that art and philosophy (in all their many forms) can be powerful tools with which to explore the deeper questions of life and resolve roadblocks to personal change. I can incorporate bibliotherapy and other artistic/philosophical explorations into our work together if that feels helpful for you. (See some of the books that have influenced my perspectives here).

BIO

I have 10 years of experience in the field of clinical addiction treatment, most recently as the Program Director of an outpatient treatment facility in Brooklyn.

In my work in the addiction field, I provided individual, group, and family treatment to individuals and family members affected by addictive disorders. I deeply value the opportunity to work with individuals experiencing addictive disorders, and I look forward to continuing to do so as a coach.

For more on addiction as an area of focus, see the Recovery section here.

Outside of work, I am an avid reader and music fan, and a songwriter. I believe strongly in the value of creativity and artistic expression tools in the service of self-actualization.

Click here to view a PDF of my resume.

RECOVERY

After 10 years working in addiction treatment, I have learned that addiction is complex, complicated, and highly personal.

I have also learned that recovery is possible, and that a strong connection with a coach can be an important element of an individual recovery process.

No matter how irrational it may look from the outside, I believe that addiction makes sense and serves a purpose (usually a self-protective one). Paradoxically, an addictive relationship (with a substance, behavior, or person) can create a sense of safety that helps insulate us from emotional threats, particularly experiences of loss.

From acute trauma to more mundane disappointments, loss is always with us. Rarely do we grieve our losses fully and deeply. Rarely do we even take them seriously enough to recognize their full impact. We end up living at the mercy of our unacknowledged losses, rather than feeling them and growing through them.

The humanistic and existentialist viewpoints focus on honoring our losses, making space to grieve, and making meaning out of suffering in the service of recovery.

If we can allow ourselves to fully experience our individual griefs (both past and present), particularly within the context of a safe and secure coaching relationship, we can reach the acceptance and joy that lies on the other side - and we can fully embrace our responsibility to ourselves and to others in our lives.

When this is done, managing our lives becomes more enjoyable and much easier. Moving away from destructive patterns becomes possible.

I am open to exploring and supporting any and all avenues of recovery, from 12-Step to harm reduction to highly individualized pathways.

If you are experiencing addiction, you have options. I would be happy to help you consider them.

Sessions

How long are coaching meetings?

Sessions are typically 50 minutes in length.

How long will I be seeing you?

This depends on your individual goals and on your sense of connection and comfort with me. I have had clients that I’ve seen for only a brief period (4 - 8 sessions), and have had other clients I have worked with for far longer (multiple years). My main focus is whether you are benefiting from our work together and if you feel you are actively making progress.

Age you treat?

I work primarily with adults, although I have experience working with adolescents and young adults as well. In working with adolescents or young adults, I strive to involve family members actively in the process.