Humanistic Coaching
“The counselor’s job is not so much to plant the seed as to provide the right conditions for its growth.”
You may have noticed that I use the term “humanistic coaching.” This is because I strive to strike a balance between the practical, goal-oriented focus of traditional coaching and the more relational orientation of humanistic and existential approaches to professional helping.
At times, our culture and environment seem incapable of providing us with the “right conditions” for natural, self-directed growth and sustained emotional well-being. WIth our seeds planted in the chaotic and incoherent soil of modern life, we can easily lose sight of how we are living and why.
We may find ourselves attempting to meet our deepest psychological needs in superficial, inadequate, or even destructive ways. Running on auto-pilot just to “get by”, we may end up neglecting our responsibilities to ourselves to to others.
Humanistic coaching can create a space for you to examine what gets in the way of living your most meaningful, responsible, and healthy life - roadblocks such as unhelpful attachment to the past, unmanaged fear of the uncertain future, and a lack of confidence in your ability to identify and meet your own needs. These roadblocks to optimal living are complex and complicated, and aren't necessarily given respectful, non-judgmental attention in our culture at large. Ideally, humanistic coaching provides the environment in which you can take an honest, sober look at your reality and recapture your sense of power in shaping that reality.
Engaging in mindful self-examination in collaboration with a humanistic coach can help you clarify your values, change your behaviors (if desired), and establish a more fulfilling - and more realistic - relationship with yourself and your world.
My Coaching Approach
While many coaches are highly practical and focus almost exclusively on goal-setting and accountability, I focus at least as much on creating an authentic and supportive connection that can help activate your inherent capacity for personal growth.
In this way I am most strongly influenced by the humanist psychologist Carl Rogers, founder of the “person-centered” approach. This means that my primary focus (particularly in the early stages) will be on active listening and reflection, with the goal of achieving an accurate and deep understanding of your emotional experience. If I do this well, this will create a sense of authentic safety and trust within the coaching relationship.
“Change happens at the speed of trust.” - Stephen Covey
Once this sense of safety and trust is achieved, identifying and accomplishing goals becomes a fluid (and even fun) process, as you discover resources, strengths, and enthusiasm you didn't know you had. It is at this point that we begin to incorporate elements of the Reality Therapy/Choice Theory approach into our work together. I believe that establishing a sense of authentic trust is necessary before commencing the more practical (and sometimes painful) work of identifying, adjusting to, and embracing reality.
In my experience, the combination of these two approaches helps you make changes that last. You might be surprised how much of a difference it makes to feel truly heard and understood, and you might be amazed at the effects this can have on your behavior patterns and decision-making - and on your ability to face and embrace reality.
If you want to learn more about Carl Rogers and his the person-centered approach, I recommend that you read his book On Becoming a Person. If you’re interested in learning more about Choice Theory and its application to personal growth, I recommend that you read Choice Theory by William Glasser, the founder of the Reality Therapy approach.
In addition to my emphasis on the relational and humanistic elements of coaching, I am also comfortable with more concrete skill-building approaches. However, I believe that these approaches are best utilized within a person-centered framework, so I focus on building the relationship first. When and if you want, and at your own speed, we can transition into more concrete skills-building work.
Finally, I believe that art and philosophy (in all their many forms) can be powerful tools with which to explore the deeper questions of life and resolve roadblocks to personal change. I can incorporate bibliotherapy and other artistic/philosophical explorations into our work together if that feels helpful for you. (See some of the books that have influenced my perspectives here).
My explicit goal as a helping professional is to support you in identifying and embracing reality, and living your life in greater accordance with reality (easier said than done, but absolutely possible). In service of this goal, I use an eclectic approach drawing primarily on person-centered helping, Reality Therapy/Choice Theory, Mindfulness-Based Self-Compassion (MBSC), and Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT).